


Munch Conspiracy Hour

by Nemesis (ThetaSigma), ThetaSigma



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:50:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6715141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/pseuds/Nemesis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/pseuds/ThetaSigma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has a new convert to his crazy beliefs. Only took 15 years, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Munch Conspiracy Hour

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sidewinder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder/gifts).



> Thanks to [sidewinder](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder/pseuds/sidewinder) for letting me use Munch Conspiracy Hour.

Fin had spent most of his time with John avoiding John’s crazy conspiracy books and rolling his eyes whenever John started in on his newest theory of how everything was a vast conspiracy. After 15 years together, he had heard plenty about the Kennedy assassination (far too much, really), aliens visiting Earth, something about DNA being gathered at birth for a grand DNA database (Fin still contended that would make their jobs easier, but John protested on the grounds of civil liberties), and the general death of privacy and civil liberties everywhere.

He certainly didn’t need to _read_ about it too: hearing John on the subject for _fifteen long years_ was more than enough. He adored his husband more than he could say, but the paranoia? That he could do without.

But it was a long, dull Sunday. John was out, his regular monthly lunch with Alejandro, something Fin was really glad they did. It was a tenuous connection to his son, but it was one nonetheless, and he was happy John and Alejandro got along so well. He never joined them on these lunches – sometimes they would get together, all four of them, for dinner, or just Alejandro would stop by, and Fin would be there then, but this monthly lunch with Alejandro was something just John did, and Fin respected that.

The game on TV wasn’t really capturing Fin’s interest, and he had read most of _his_ books by now. He hesitated over his copy of the complete works of Oscar Wilde, but he wasn’t in the mood for that today. 

And a title stood out at him, had for years now, one he had sorta half thought about reading before, maybe entering John’s (crazy) world a bit, seeing what all the fuss was about. He knew he didn’t need to get involved at all for John to love him, the wedding ring on his finger proved _that_ , but he _was_ kinda curious to see if it was just paranoia or if there was any real basis to all of John’s cuckoo theories. After all, John was usually so worked up about them, he made no sense.

Fin plucked the book off the shelf and started reading.

And it made a _lot_ of sense. It was funny and informative and hell, yeah, okay, he could see where John was coming from on the Kennedy assassination. The more he read, the more he realized, _wow_ , Oswald _couldn’t have_ done it. 

Maybe John was right about the other things, too, he thought, turning the page interestedly. 

The front door opened and John headed over to Fin, pressing a quick kiss to Fin’s lips. “Alejandro says hi,” he said. 

“Have a good lunch, babe?”

“Of course, you know we like to get together and chat. Ken’s fine, by the way.”

“Thanks.”

“I would’ve thought you’d be watching the game today, my love. What are you reading?”

“Eh, one of your nutty books,” Fin admitted, not having thought to hide it before John came home. “Game was pretty dull, stopped watchin’, and I figured I’ll see what all the fuss is about with you.”

“Love, I love you anyway even if you don’t believe me about the grand forces in the world conspiring to take away our personal freedoms and civil liberties. Which book are you reading, I could’ve at least told you where to start.”

Fin held up the book. “Uh, it’s called _UFOs, JFK, and Elvis: Conspiracies You Don’t Have to Be Crazy To Believe_ , by some guy named Richard Belzer.”

“Oh, I never did like that book,” John said. 

“It’s _right_ up your alley, John! He’s at least as nutty as you!”

“Nah, he doesn’t go far enough. I mean, yes, his analysis of the Kennedy assassination is on point, but he could’ve delved in further, you know? There’s hundreds of hours and pages of evidence on that, but he doesn’t even devote the whole book to it? Please!”

Fin rubbed his temples. “He made a lot of sense to me.”

“Well, it’s a good starter guide for mindless sheep,” John teased. “Here, when you finish with the Kennedy section, I’ll give you more on it. Amazing how they covered up a conspiracy to kill a sitting president, isn’t it?”

“You’re smug,” Fin said with a sigh.

“Hey, I’ve been telling you for 15 years about these conspiracies!”

“Okay, okay, you may have had a point about _this_ one!” Fin protested. “Your other ideas are still nutty as fuck!”

“Are they? Are they _really_? You swore my Kennedy assassination theories were nutty as fuck too, my love!”

“… Maybe it’s because every time you try talkin’ about this, you get so worked up you start frothin’ at the mouth. Tell me about civil liberties _calmly_ and I may see a rational argument.”

“How can you stay calm about this?!”

“Well, if you can’t manage it, I can’t analyze your argument, babe!”

“Okay, fine.” John took a deep, fortifying breath and started making his case. _Calmly_.

And okay, yeah, Fin started seeing it. He sure as hell remembered some times when they hadn’t necessarily thought about civil liberties when doing their jobs (well, everyone except for John, who had loudly decried what they were doing at every turn). 

*** 

Liv and Fin were at the hospital. They had a suspect in the hospital bed but no way to compel DNA. Liv grabbed a nurse and said, “Hey, can you bring out his food tray, everything on it untouched?”

“You’re getting DNA like _that_?” Fin asked disbelievingly. “That’s such a violation of his rights!”

Liv gave Fin a funny look. “I would’ve expected that from your husband, Fin.”

“Well, what’s he gonna do? Not eat in public anymore? Not eat while in the hospital on the off chance a cop decides to pull his food tray? That’s ridiculous! That’s not like goin’ through his trash for stuff. John’s right, one day they’ll create a national DNA database so we can match it at birth!”

“Do you wanna catch this guy or not?” Liv demanded.

“You know I do, Liv, this ain’t about that. But it ain’t right gettin’ his DNA like that,” Fin said stubbornly. “If we can’t do it legally, we need more evidence, not some shady as fuck violation of his civil liberties.”

Liv blinked rapidly at him. “Did you drink the Kool-Aid, Fin?”

“You can’t tell me you think this is right, Liv.”

“It is if it gets a violent rapist off the streets, Fin, end of discussion.”

*** 

Several weeks after their babysitting misadventure, Fin was loudly protesting again in the squad rom. “It’s totally not right we hacked into some woman’s Facebook and other personal media accounts just to verify her story! She told us she didn’t want us seein’ them, so we had TARU break in? How is that right? That’s a _total_ violation of her right to privacy!”

Everyone stared at him. Carisi nodded, saying, “He has a point. We really shouldn’t be going through other people’s personal messages just because we don’t think we got the full story.”

Liv, Amanda, and Nick sighed. “Fin, you never used to be like this,” Liv said, taking the lead. She had known Fin the longest and was in command.

Carisi frowned. “But he _has_ a point!”

“Not his, not at first,” Amanda said. “I remember his husband’s nutty theories. You weren’t here for John Munch, Carisi, that guy could give you a conspiracy theory about your fucking breakfast.”

“Yeah, well, you know what, John has a point,” Fin snapped. “We don’t respect civil liberties and we go tramplin’ all over privacy!”

“Oh Lord,” Liv muttered. “It’s Munch.2. Fin, I thought Munch Conspiracy Hour ended when he retired.”

“Uh-uh,” Fin said. “Told you when we were babysittin’, guy’s got a point.”

Carisi made a mental note to go talk to Fin and John soon – he certainly wanted to learn more about this.

And the morning Munch Conspiracy Hour started up again, this time with Fin heading it.


End file.
